


Our Souls Met Long Before our Eyes

by blasphemous



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: ALEK IS ALEC, Alec Reincarnated, M/M, Memories, Reincarnation, Warlock!Alec, future!fic, this is a little painful I'm sorry, warlock!Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-14 12:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11783586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blasphemous/pseuds/blasphemous
Summary: It's been a century since Alec passed away. Magnus didn't expect to love again until he met Alek Vargas, the high warlock of Rome, who, might he add, has a terrible taste in drinks.AkaThe "Alec getting reincarnated in warlock form and Magnus trying to remind him of the past life they spent together" fic no one asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [LE NOSTRE ANIME SI INCONTRARONO PRIMA DEI NOSTRI SGUARDI](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14616149) by [kate_kate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_kate/pseuds/kate_kate)



> I want immortal!malec, but Alec watching everyone he cares about die around him is too painful to picture. So this is kinda the result :')

"The high warlock of Rome is what?" Magnus arched a brow, running the tip of his index finger over the pad of his thumb as he flung a book into the air and caught it with much poise. "And how come I've never heard of this Romeo all downworlders have been speaking of these days?"

Max sighed heavily through the phone. "Dad, is that jealousy I hear in your voice?" he smirked, making Magnus chuckle softly.

"Come on, blueberry, I've always flaunted my charm wherever I went, and now that there's a new warlock in– hold on, is he pretty?"

Max laughed out loud, a sound that never failed to draw a smile on Magnus' face.

"I haven't seen him yet, but as far as I've heard, he's fucking gorgeous"

"Fuckin- Max! Since when do you use this foul language?" Magnus barked, rebuking his son using a voice laden with feigned anger.

"Since last century" Max retorted smartly, a grin obvious in his tone. "So, will you be there?"

"I'll see if I can fit it into my schedule" Magnus sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes.

Max stayed silent for a few seconds. "Don't let your jealousy get the best of you, father dearest. Aunt Catarina and Tessa will be there, it's a downworld party and I'm sure you have plenty of time to reconnect."

"I've always been the one to throw the best parties" Magnus muttered in interjection.

"I rather enjoy this envious side of you" Max chortled fondly, "be there. I miss you."

Magnus bowed his head at that, dropping his jokes as a small smile upturned the corners of his lips. "I miss you too, blueberry."

Max never had anything against his father calling him blueberry, regardless the fact he's a little over two centuries old and often gets teased about it by his closest friends.

"I'll be there" Magnus said after a few seconds, making sure his tone sounded exasperated and vexed. In reality, Magnus was more than intrigued to meet this high warlock of Rome.

** … **

"Magnus"

Magnus turned on his heel elegantly, grinning as he caught sight of the familiar brown hair and grey eyes. "My dearest Tessa" his eyes softened as he brought her into his arms, embracing her. "I missed you"

"Oh, really now?" Tessa mocked, arching a brow, but hugging him back nonetheless. "Yet you couldn’t spare a second or two to call me and ask me how I was doing?"

Magnus parted his lips to object, already conjuring up a full lie that would explain why he hadn’t contacted Tessa in the past decade.

"Not saying this out of courtesy" Tessa whispered, "but nothing can ever overthrow your parties. This sucks" She pulled back, putting on a fake jovial smile as she looked around, then she settled her eyes on magnus and winked.

Magnus laughed breathily. "Trust me, dear" he answered, "I know."

Rolling her eyes, Tessa brushed her hair off her shoulder. "Still as stuck-up as I last saw you, I presume" she joked, making Magnus shrug and snap his fingers, summoning a drink from the bar.

"And lazy" Tessa added, shaking her head affectionately at her friend. Magnus shrugged once more. "What can I say? Magic spoils us"

"Spoils us" came a snort from over Magnus' shoulder, then Catarina's hand was patting his stomach "one day, the abs will disappear, Magnus"

Magnus rolled his eyes. "I'd be lying if I said I don’t miss you" he heaved out, "but I wasn’t quite anticipating your arrival either"

Catarina smirked. "Sure you weren’t"

"Dad!"

Magnus shoved his drink into Catarina's hand, who gladly sipped at it and frowned approvingly at the glass, and he met Max halfway, hugging him tightly.

"Lilith, I missed you" Max whispered, shutting his eyes, and Magnus wholeheartedly returned the sentiment, squeezing Max tighter.

"See?" Max pulled back and straightened Magnus' blazer out, "the party isn't so bad now, is it?"

Magnus blinked blandly. "Remember who you're talking to, Maxi" he answered, "I own the Pandemonium, _The Pandemonium,_ I can glance at the bar right there, pick out twenty nine flaws, and name them in succession"

Max snorted. "You're so trivial" he patted his father's bicep with a doting smirk.

"Trivial? Me? Please" Magnus waved a hand dismissively, "triviality and having a sharp eye are two absolutely different things"

Max nodded, "right" he said, deciding to just agree to whatever his father has to say.

"So" Magnus slowly looked around, "where is this striking charmer who, might I add, has a terrible taste in drinks?"

"Who's asking?"

Magnus, in spite of the hundreds of years he'd spent embarrassing himself under differing situations, winced at being caught. 

The voice sounded familiar. The intonation, the softness threaded into his potent timbre, it was all too familiar, there, engraved in Magnus' mind. But he couldn't quite put his finger on it and detect the angelic cadence.

He turned around, opening his mouth to speak, but once his eyes landed on the man, no words passed his throat.  
His lips parted, breath knocked out of his lungs as he blinked. _Was he dreaming? Hallucinating? Maybe this was sangria. Too strong sangria._

The man smirked, hazels boring into Magnus' as he moved forward and balanced him by the arms. "Apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you"

Max stood, rooted in place, as well as Catarina and Tessa, both of them scrutinising the man as if he were a work of art. 

Then Max sidled up to his father, jaw flexed as he silently offered comfort. The man briefly glanced at the younger warlock, then at the father, who still stood frozen in place, eyes glazed over and lustrous with unshed, memory-laden tears.

"Alexander?" was the only thing that contrived to escape Magnus' lips, foolish and quite rash, but he wasn't in charge of his vocal chords anymore, and as soon as the name fell from his lips, the man smiled, lopsided and easy. It made Magnus' heart jump in his chest.

_This couldn't be happening._

"I hate to say this, but you're mistaken. People tend to assume my given name is Alexander, it takes a whole lot of effort to get them to believe that it’s just Alek, Alek Vargas" he extended his hand politely, and Magnus swallowed, dampening his throat, shutting his eyes momentarily to ground himself.

Magnus flexed his jaw, hands clenching to fists before he spread his fingers out and lifted his hand to hold Alek's. Then he instantly pulled back, hating how foreign it felt. 

In contrast with Alec's rough and calloused hands, this clone's hands were silky, _warm,_ and once Magnus touched him he could feel the man's magic ripple through his body.

Alexander – Alek – gave a wary look and stepped away. "Do you need a drink? Water?" snapping his fingers, he conjured up a glass of water, but Magnus' eyes remained on Alek's hand. 

_Magic? Who was this man? And why was he a spitting image of his late husband?_

"Who are you?" Magnus said aloud, unable to contain his perplexed thoughts any longer as he searched for any runes on the man's uncovered skin.

Alek's brows rose. "Alek. I thought I just introduced myself. The high warlock of Rome. The host of this party who, might I recite, has a terrible taste in drinks" chuckling lightly, he pressed the glass of water into Magnus' hand, "and you are?" 

"Magnus" Magnus breathed out, still bewildered by the similarity between Alek and, well.. Alec. "Magnus Bane" 

"Ah!" Alek's hazel eyes crinkled at the sides as he gave a blinding smile, "the high warlock of Brooklyn? You're just as beautiful as described" 

"Y-Yeah" Magnus blinked, "thanks, I uh, I know" he was still trying to be his usual, cocky self, but failing miserably.

Max was still standing, eyes on Alek. Catarina and Tessa on the other hand, didn't want to be rude, so they stepped forward and exchanged greetings with the warlock. 

Alek stepped back, head bowed and hands clasped behind his back. Everything about him screamed Alexander. Except the smooth, coquettish way he spoke. "Welcome to my humble party, and feel free to come to me next time you have complaints about the drinks" winking at the shorter man, Alek turned around, and intermingled with the rest of the downworlders. 

Magnus let himself breathe, eyes shutting to bring himself back to earth. 

"Gods" he breathed out, "tell me it wasn't just me who realised how much he looks—"

"Like dad" Max cut in, "he's a replica." 

Magnus blinked away his tears hurriedly, feeling Max's words tug at his heart.

** … **

Magnus couldn't focus on anything. His eyes were only on one man.

"Dad" Max finally said, "dad, are you okay?"

Magnus blinked himself out of his haze and turned to look at his son with a smile. "I'm going to have a drink"

"But I thought you detested the drin—" Max had no chance to continue his sentence, because his father was already reaching for a glass of champagne and walking towards the balcony.

Once there, he leant forward against the railing, looking up at the sky and finally allowing his lungs to take the air they've been beseeching.

He stared ahead, descrying the blue waters of the Ostio Lido beach, the reflection of the moon undulating in soft waves. 

Then his eyes shut.

_"Alexander! No!"_

_Alec laughed and took ahold of both Magnus' hands, walking backwards towards the water. "Are you scared to get a little wet, Magnus?" He asked, teasing obvious in his tone, then he stopped, taking a step closer and holding the side of Magnus' face, "or are you aquaphobic?" He asked, this time his voice devoid of any ridicule as he lifted Magnus' face to look him in the eyes._

_Magnus laughed softly, shaking his head. "No, darling" he answered, "I just haven't found time to perfect my diving skills" he continued, a little sheepish._

_Alec gaped, then a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "So you're telling me that the great Magnus Bane, the high warlock of Brooklyn, can't swim?" He leant down, lips inches away from Magnus'. Magnus lifted both hands and cradled Alec's face, giving a single nod before he brought their lips together._

_"Will you let me teach you?"_

Magnus was brought back to reality when he felt a presence beside him, and he inhaled deeply, wanting and needing to stand his ground. 

"Quite beautiful, isn't it?"

The words stole a few beats of Magnus' heart. 

"Indeed" he replied breathlessly, hazarding a quick glance at Alek. 

Alek smiled, looking straight ahead with a dreamy look in his eyes. "That beach" he finally exhaled, "there's something about it."

Magnus gulped, then gave a nod. "What is it?" He finally decided to ask, only to obtain a shrug in return.

"I don't know" Alek tapped his fingernails on the railing, brows furrowed, "I don't know, it's like a.. a puzzle piece, missing. I.." He stopped before he got too enthralled in his own mind, "I don't know" he settled on saying.

Magnus felt hope blossom in his chest. And for a moment, he just wanted to portal back to Brooklyn and do his research about reincarnation. _Reincarnation, yes._ There was something about this _Alek Vargas._ And it wasn't only his looks. It was the way he spoke. The way he moved. He was too much like Alec. Too much. Magnus had encountered several reincarnations of people he knew. But it always felt like he was meeting a new person, getting to know someone in the body of a long gone loved one. But _this._ This Alek. It was definitely not a coincidence that he had the same name as Alec, and had that perplexed look on his face when he looked at that beach. The beach Magnus and Alexander had spent their honeymoon on, laughing and kissing and _loving._

Once Magnus made it out of his thoughts, he realised that Alek was looking at him, a small smile on his lips and eyes gleaming with reverence and… intrigue. Magnus smiled back, hating how hopeless he felt around him. 

Eyes moving to Magnus' hand, Alek's brows furrowed, and he tilted his head to the side. "Oh, you're married" the mild disappointment was obvious in his words as he stared at the ring.

Magnus chuckled lightly, setting his glass down as he began to twirl the ring around his finger. "How strange of you to distinguish a wedding ring from the rest" he said quietly. Alek smiled. 

"Hard to miss" he answered, "your other rings are quite.. ostentatious"

Magnus laughed out loud, throwing his head back with a light shake of his head. "Ostentatious? My rings have never been described as ostentatious" his chortle subsided to a smile that made his brown-golden eyes gleam and crinkle at the sides. 

Alek seemed proud of himself to have gotten such a friendly reaction from the high warlock of Brooklyn. 

"How long?" He asked

Magnus turned his head to look at the taller man. "Hm?"

"Married, I mean" Alek nodded at Magnus' hand, and Magnus parted his lips to speak, then closed his mouth, lowering his gaze slowly. 

"One hundred and seventy two years, three months, and sixty seven days" he smirked, mostly to himself. 

Alek's brows rose. "That's.." He trailed off, "wow, that's..whew, that's commitment" 

Magnus nodded slowly, his throat burning painfully. 

"You're both lucky to have each other, please deliver my regards to your lady on my behalf" Alek spoke with less enthusiasm, and Magnus would have to be deaf to not notice the loss of vigour in his friendly tone. 

Magnus arched a brow, and Alek's lips parted. "Apologies" he hurried to say, shaking his head at his blunder "my sincerest apologies. I didn't— I was.. I was quick to judge. I'm—"

"Deep breath" Magnus cut in, a fond smile playing on his lips, "it's fine. People tend to make these types of mistakes all the time."

Alek looked down, clasping his hands behind his back as he stood straight. "Then please deliver my regards to your gentleman on my behalf."

Magnus blinked as he looked up at the warlock. Alek must've thought it was the drink that made his eyes shine with unreleased tears, so he kept his smile on. 

"He passed away in two thousand and seventy six" he stated, his voice breaking mid-sentence.

Alek halted, his jaw flexing momentarily before he exhaled from his lips. "I'm..I'm sorry for your loss" he said, his voice mirroring the sheer pain evident in Magnus' eyes as he spoke, "and I'm sorry if I evoked— I.. Uh, I shouldn't have—"

Magnus shook his head lightly. "Don't worry about it, my dear. It was quite a long time ago" he nodded in reassurance, ignoring the pain that spread through his chest. 

Alek bowed his head. "Well, your first impression of me must revolve around how inquisitive and rude I am. That really wasn't how I expected things to play out."

Magnus smiled, ducking his head while crooking his knees to catch Alek's gaze. "Hey now" he lifted a hand and placed it on his shoulder, "it wasn't _that_ bad, now was it?" He cooed, "but I do believe you need to consult me next time you're throwing a party. The drinks are intolerable."

Alek laughed, lifting a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "Sorry"

Magnus stood straight. "I'm starting to get a little tipsy" he said, "so I'll have to excuse myself. Need to get home before Church decides that I'm no longer a suitable companion" he waved a hand elegantly and looked around with a smile. "It was a pleasure making your acquaintance, Alek Vargas."

"The pleasure's all mine, Magnus Bane."


	2. Chapter 2

_"You're not going anywhere, shadowhunter" the voice was low, teasing as strong tanned arms wrapped around Alec's torso and pulled him back to a rock-hard chest. Alec moaned in content._

_"I need to get to the institute" he murmured, but sank back against the warmth of the man as he covered the hands interlaced at his stomach with his own._

_"And I need to make sure you're pampered before you leave" the voice sounded quite familiar as the man pulled Alec closer to him, kissing the back of his head, "I love you"_

_"I love you more" Alec answered, "now will you please let me go so I can attend to more pressing matters" he cried out in plea, making the man chuckle and press another fond kiss to the back of his head._

_"I want to let you go" he sighed, "but I can't, my body is basically glued to you"_

_Alec laughed, turning around in the man's arms and burying his face in his chest. "Good" he muttered, "this is much more important" he whispered, pressing a kiss to the man's chest._

_The man pulled him closer against him. "Alec" he said gently, and when Alec gave a small questioning hum, the man ran his hand down Alec's back softly, "my darling, I can't wait for us to finally be married"_

_Alec smiled, closing his eyes. "Neither can I" he exhaled, "and I want to spend our honeymoon on that beach you took me to on our fifth date"_

_The man chuckled. "You remembered"_

_"How could I ever forget?"_

 

Alek shot up, eyes wide.  
The bedside lamp radiated warm light upon the lustre of sweat on his chest, his hair sticking to his forehead and his eyes hooded with exhaustion. 

"Lilith" he whispered out, shutting his eyes briefly before he lay back down, staring up at the ceiling. 

He couldn't remember when these dreams began. Those too realistic to be dreams began. But he knew that they were much more than a figment of his imagination. 

Whenever he awoke from them, he would remember the feeling of that man's silken skin against his fingertips as if he was right there throughout his sleep, he would feel the warmth of him, too soothing to be a concoction of his wild mind. 

Swallowing forcibly, he turned on his side and took a deep breath, snapping his fingers to turn the lights off before he was fast asleep. A dark, dreamless abyss.

** … **

"You think father's inside that man?" Max questioned, running his fingers through his dark blue hair as he began pacing. 

Magnus flexed his jaw. "Yes" he answered, "reincarnation isn't beyond our people's ken. Rare, yes. But not impossible, not incomprehensible. And Alek…" trailing off, a small smile found his lips and he slowly bowed his head, "Alek was too much like your father, blueberry" 

Max felt a light nudge at his lip. "I know" he answered, "I know. He's… he was comfortable to talk to, just like father was. Giving out the whole total transparency and peace between the species talk like he's been here for years. Definitely a dad thing to do" Max smiled fondly at the memory, "is there a way to know if he's a.. uh, reincarnation?" 

Magnus stood for a few seconds, eye squinted pensively, then he lifted a shoulder unknowingly. "Not as far as I know" 

"Then how did you come to the conclusion that the high warlock of Rome is actually the rebirth of dad?" Max leant back against the sofa, sipping at his drink, "what's his warlock mark? Maybe it has something to do with his past life?" 

Magnus chuckled. "You know, it's quite unceremonious to inquisitively ask a warlock what their mark is, blueberry. Not everyone is lucky enough to have pretty golden cat eyes" he fluttered his eyelashes jokingly, making Max roll his eyes with a fond smirk.

"I don't see the problem" he said, "years have passed, it's about time warlocks embrace themselves." 

Magnus was the one to roll his eyes this time, beginning to get drained of patience. "You children these days" 

Max shook his head lightly. "I'm going to attend to my business then, I'll call you for updates" and with that, he opened a portal and passed through it. 

Magnus smiled at the place the portal once stood.

_"Papa! Dad! I'm opening a portal!"_

_Alec rushed to the sitting room, where Magnus was sat, reading one of his books, Max a metre away from him, the smallest of portals in front of the little warlock._

_A small laugh bubbled in Alec's throat as he rushed for his littlest son and lifted him in his arms messily, pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek._

_"Dad!" Max yelled out, "I'm too old for you to kiss my cheek and lift me up like that" he wiped at the wet spot Alec left on his blue cheek, wailing helplessly._

_Alec laughed again. "Never too old, Maxi" he answered, "you're six"_

_Max pouted, but succumbed to the raining kisses coming from his father._

_Once Max was free from Alec's grasp, Alec sat on the couch, resting his head against Magnus' shoulder as he looked at the book he had in hand. Then he looked up, searching Magnus' face for even he didn't know what._

_Magnus' eyes flickered to the younger man, softening once he descried the way Alec was looking at him. "I love you" Alec managed to breathe out, and Magnus shut the book, lifting a hand to hold the side of Alec's face._

_"I love you too" he leant down, pressing the softest of kisses to his husband's lips._

Wiping beneath his eyes, Magnus straightened his back to regain composure, looking around in search of a source of distraction.

** … **

Alek looked in the mirror, running his fingertips over the mark stamped into his chest, jaw flexed. 

_"Level your eye with the target" Alec's hand ran down the length of the man’s tanned muscles, "steady"_

_"You're distracting me, Alexander" the man chuckled in response, but lifted the bow in the air. "Like this?"_

_"Just like that" Alec nuzzled the man’s perfectly styled black hair. "Now, release"_

_The man let go of the string, allowing the arrow to fly straight through the air and hit the bullseye dead on._

_"Perfect"_

_"Mm, not as perfect as you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood" the man turned around. And Alek’s chest tightened in anticipation, needing to unmask the identity of the man. To see him. To know who he is. To meet him and ask him about all those dreams. Those visions._

The memory turned black. 

Alek let out a frustrated scream, his long, black nails digging into the mark before he pulled his hand away, eyes clenched shut. 

He curled his hands to fists at his sides, claws sinking into his palms as his breath began to turn rapid.

When he regained control, he slowly uncurled his hands and snapped his eyes open, retracting his nails and exhaling shakily. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood" he breathed out.

** … **

"Elyaas!"

Elyaas’ tongue slithered out in a hiss as his eyes bore into Magnus’. "What an unpleasant thing to see you again, how long has it been?" The demon hissed, "an hour? two? three?"

Magnus laughed softly and reclined in his armchair. "It's been a little over a century, Elyaas" he said, and the demon’s barely distinguishable features twisted into something that resembled surprise. 

"It felt like hours!" Elyaas exclaimed, "did you miss me?"

Magnus smirked. "Maybe" he shrugged, "you were quite fun to talk to.

The demon looked around the loft, swaying lightly. "I don't see your shadowh— ah, he must've passed away, hm? Mortals, why do you downworlders hurt yourselves with them."

Magnus blinked vacantly, taking a sip of his drink. "Your tongue is still as sharp as ever, I see" he joked, happy with his pun as the demon’s razor sharp tongue fluttered once again in annoyance. 

"What do you want from me, warlock?"

Magnus waved a hand dismissively. "Nothing. I was bored. And to be frank, you're the most entertaining demon in your realm." 

If Elyaas had noticeable features, his brow would be arched. "Bored? Entertaining? Do I look like a clown to you, Bane?"

Magnus’ brows rose in amusement. "Really want me to answer that?" He teased. 

Elyaas glared. 

"Oh, how rude of me!" Magnus snapped his fingers, letting a drink hover near the demon, "drink? I wouldn't mind getting some tentacle slime on my glasses y'know."

"My centuries have taught me not to get fooled by your kind" Elyaas snarled, said slime dripping to the floor the way venom oozed from his words.

Magnus shrugged. "Suit yourself" he snapped his fingers again, the drink disappearing and reappearing in his hand, "more for me then. I've always been told I make the best cocktails. But your mistrust just lost you quite a heavenly taste, my dear. Pitiful if you ask me" He used his fingertip to stir the drink, eyes not leaving the demon.

Elyaas said nothing, hovering there with his eyes on Magnus.

"So, what's the true reason you've summoned me?" Elyaas finally gave up the staring contest, and Magnus sat up. 

"Knowledge" he uttered, making Elyaas stop his swaying to look at the warlock.

"Knowledge? From me? What could I possibly know that you wouldn't? Your father is the Prince of Hell for crying out loud! Couldn't you have asked him instead of disturbing my business!"

Magnus let his head fall back with a hearty laugh. "Oh, Elyaas" he finally said, lifting his head to look at the demon, "you always manage to make me laugh, it's refreshing" 

Elyaas kept his eyes on Magnus, expression unchanging. 

"Fine" Magnus drawled out with a dramatic sigh, standing to his full height, "as you know, father isn't quite a cordial man, so inviting him over for a cup of tea to talk about reincarnation after nearly two hundred years of absolutely no contact would make me quite an impudent son, don't you think?"

Elyaas seemed to be considering it for a few moments, then he heaved out what gave the impression of a breath, but sounded more like something getting burnt. "What do you wish to know?" 

Magnus opened his mouth to start his investigation. 

But a few knocks came, and Magnus’ heart began beating rapidly in his chest, nervous and anxious and _excited._

Even his knocking resembled Alec's.

Haste, patient, but tuneful. 

"We'll probably have to postpone this meeting" before Elyaas had the chance to reply, Magnus started his way towards the door. 

"At least release me! I don't wish to watch you and your dalliance fooling around like teenage mundanes!"

Magnus chuckled lightly as he slipped the door open. 

Alek stood there, his hair gelled back, his tailored black suit fitting him perfectly, and his eyes easily finding Magnus'.

Magnus smiled. "Don't tell me you're throwing another party."

Alek’s lips parted, only for a second. "Ostentatious wasn't the word I had in mind for your rings" he blurted, "more like rakish, chic, stylish, um.." He trailed off nervously, and Magnus found himself biting back a smirk. 

"You came all the way from Rome to tell me that you mixed up your vocabulary and accused my rings of being pretentious?" Both brows rose, and Alek snapped his mouth shut. 

"I—I actually came to um, to ask you for your opinion about this drink" he lifted a bottle, "I was hoping we could.." 

Magnus leant his head against the side of the door, eyes not leaving the taller man. 

Alek bit down on his lip. "I mean, I just, thought you'd want company, not that you're alone. You're the high warlock of Brooklyn. But…" Alek stopped, then took a deep breath, "I want to get to know you better, Magnus." 

Magnus was used to people showing up at his door, often nervous like Alek was, but never so straightforward about what they want. He's had countless young men and women making advances towards him in hopes they'd have his heart by the end of their encounter, but keeping their intentions hidden. He's had coy, sullen young ladies revealing their admiration towards him, and flirtatious men outwardly complimenting anything they caught sight of. But Alek. 

Alek was something else. 

Yes, he could be a little coquettish if he wanted to, which is quite infrequent, but he was also polite, very well mannered, and too considerate. He would make you swoon then hold you and apologise. He would wink at you then say he had something in his eye if he heeded any sign of discomfort. 

Max was always quick to judge, but Magnus had to give him credit for pointing out how comfortable it was talking to Alek. 

Overlooking the similarities between Alek and Alec, Magnus felt at ease when he was around him. Reminded of Alec, but at ease. 

Smiling, Magnus brought himself back to his senses. "You're quite an urbane young man, Alek Vargas" he murmured, watching the younger warlock turn a deep shade of red. 

_"This is disgusting! Laa lala la, la, la, la la"_

Alek's brows furrowed as he glanced over Magnus' shoulder. 

_"Sappy warlocks la la la I want them all dead lalalalalaaa"_

Magnus sighed, "sorry, I summoned a demon and he seems to have made himself at home" he looked over his shoulder to send a pointed glare at Elyaas, who began whistling and looking at the paintings hung on the walls, acting innocent.

Alek chuckled. "Let me guess. Elyaas?" 

"How'd you know?" Magnus looked back at Alek with a smirk.

"Don't judge me, but I sometimes summon him only to tell him silly jokes" Alek whispered discreetly.

Magnus laughed out loud, making Alek grin. "So.. Can I come in or are you going to keep me standing at the door?" 

Magnus stood straight and opened the door further. "In you go, my darling" 

Alek's heart skipped a beat at the endearment, then he stepped in, eyes shutting momentarily at the familiarity of the loft. 

"Have I been here before?" He spouted before clearing his throat awkwardly, covering his mouth with his fist, "sorry."

Magnus hummed. "Maybe in your dreams." 

"Maybe" Alek replied in a murmur, eyes roaming the household interestedly. 

_"Get me out of here la la la lalala la la la, please la la la—"_

Alek grinned. "Hey, Elyaas!" 

Elyaas stopped his freestyling to look at Alek. "Alek! How long has it been? Two centuries? Three?" He waved a blackish-green tentacle in Alek's direction with what Alek assumed to be a smile. 

Alek chuckled. "Hey now, I haven't been alive that long" he flourished his hand offhandedly, "it's been a few days, remember the last joke I told you?" 

"Yeah yeah" Elyaas rolled his eyeballs, one of them slipping slightly down his gooey face. 

Magnus watched the two. 

Alek then looked at Magnus, who cocked his head in question. 

Shifting his weight to the opposite leg, Alek cleared his throat "I was hoping we'd spend time together without a demon third wheeling. No offence, Elyaas" he didn't spare a glance at the demon, who yet again, waved a tentacle, dismissively this time. 

"None taken, Vargas" he answered, the thick, icky slime inebriating his words. "I don't wish to hang around and watch you fawn over the Prince of Hell's spoilt brat either." 

Alek blinked, mildly taken by surprise, then rolled his eyes. "Hey now, play nice" he stepped closer, then glanced at Magnus, "may I?" 

Magnus nodded his head in approval. "Be my guest" 

It was something close to mystical seeing Alek preform magic to send Elyaas back to his realm to continue his _business._

When Alek was done sending the fiend away, he turned around with a smile and looked around. "I love your interior" he said, "it's funky" 

Magnus handed Alek a glass, brimmed with the fine red wine Alek had gotten. 

"Thank you" he said, "I'm quite an ostentatious man" 

"You're never gonna let go of that, are you?" Magnus couldn't get over the Italian lilt Alek had to his voice, it was one of the most beautiful things he's heard in quite a while. 

"Never" 

Alek smiled at the word, looking out the wall-to-ceiling window with a soft sigh. "Never" he repeated, "Magnus, you've been alive for six hundred years." 

Magnus nodded, "I have" he replied.

"What is it like?" Turning to Magnus, Alek clinked their glasses together and brought the rim of his drink to his lips. 

Magnus exhaled slowly. "It's oddly relaxing" he said slowly, "you go through so many hardships that they stop affecting you the same way they did, to the point where you know exactly how to deal with them. Death, war, loss, pain, everything. It's all endurable eventually" he looked up at Alek, whose eyes were brimmed with anything but judgement, "also, you can try different drinks out" he added hastily. 

Alek put his drink down. "Your magic" he started, "it's blue, isn't it?" 

Magnus furrowed his brows at the question, but gave the smallest of nods. "I believe so" 

"Blue is… it's often associated with calm and relaxation, peace even, but also with nostalgia, pain. And while you seem to be a laid back man, I can't help but think…" he trailed off, "which do you find yourself leaning towards?" Alek dared take a step closer, almost needing the closeness of the older warlock. 

There was something about Magnus that soothed him into a state of sheer tranquility, and ever since he met him the week before, he had this constant and wistful desire to be by Magnus' side. It was almost magnetic. 

When Magnus stayed silent, Alek understood. 

"What was he like?" He found himself asking before he had the chance to double-check his question and the effect it may have on Magnus. 

Magnus knew exactly who he was speaking of. 

"He was a warrior" he emitted, "he was a dutiful shadowhunter, a strong and honourable man, and he was a loving father" 

Alek blinked. "You love him still?" 

"Of course I do" Magnus thrummed, "I'll always love him. He was my home." 

That answer seemed to stir some want in Alek, want to be loved and cherished the same way Magnus loved and cherished his husband. But at the same time, and for some odd and unknown reason, he also wanted to bring him back, only to see Magnus happy again. 

He didn't say anything though, only watched Magnus as the older one eyed his drink with a doting smile. 

"Wasn't there a way for him to become immortal?" Alek brought himself to ask, and Magnus looked up, giving an easy smile. 

"Alek" he breathed out, "you don't pull the man you love away from his family to have him spend the rest of his days with you. We both know what it's like to watch the people around you grow old and die while you remain, well… _you._ " 

Alek swallowed.

"Immortality is a curse as it is a gift" Magnus opened his mouth for a few seconds, eyes casting to Alek's expression, "and what if I were to somehow die? That way he would've been alone. Eternity is quite a long time, don't you think?" he took a deep breath, venturing a step closer till there was barely space separating them, "but I couldn't promise him eternity, for I can't see the future and what it holds." 

Alek seemed to have remembered something given the way he swayed slightly and shut his eyes. 

_"I know you don't want to hear it, so I'll just say it once. Whatever I felt for Camille, it's ancient history.  
Almost literally." _

_Alec leant against the wall, looking down at the carpet with a thoughtful gaze._

_"Yeah, but what she said about you being immortal, she's right" he paused and looked up, "you watch the people you care about age and die" he elaborated, his heart hammering in his chest at the mere thought of immortality._

_"Alexander, I may be the—"_

"Alek!" 

Alek clutched at the couch before he could fall, eyes snapping open. 

Rushing to his side, Magnus held the younger one by the arm, balancing him carefully. "Darling, the drink must've been too much for your system" he said soothingly, helping Alek to the armchair. "Are you ok?" 

Alek looked up at Magnus dazedly until Magnus squatted in front of him. "I'm fine" he breathed out, jaw flexed as he dug his nails into his palms, hating how he had no control over his godforsaken talons whenever he got those visions. Those intense emotion-burdened visions that he was so tempted to ask the high warlock of Brooklyn about. 

Because deep down, he knew that those weren't visions. They were memories.

Magnus cradled the side of Alek's face in his hand, pulling him out of his dreadful thoughts. "Do you need anything, my dear?" 

Alek shook his head lightly, "no, it's fine, I just lost balance" 

Magnus' countenance softened, and he slowly ran his fingers up to Alek's hair, smiling slightly. "If you'd like me to portal you back to your home, I'm more than capable." 

Alek gave another shake of his head. 

"Would you like to sleep here?" Magnus questioned, "my ostentatious loft is—"

"Shut up" Alek cut in, catching Magnus off guard.

"Ok, right" the older warlock nodded, "I take the whole you being urbane statement back, you're secretly a very foul-mouthed man." 

Alek laughed softly. "Apologies. I didn't mean to shut you up. How about, please remain silent and stop reminding me of my terrible English vocabulary I was trying to impress you with?" 

Magnus stilled at that. "Impress me?" 

Alek's cheeks turned red once again, and Magnus slowly ran his fingers down the blush, heart leaping in his chest. "Oh, sweetheart" he exhaled.

Alek fluttered his eyes shut at the contact. "As cliché as it sounds, I.. I feel like I've known you for so long" all previous humour left his tone and the atmosphere, leaving the two of them in their own little world. "It's so confusing. It's… it's _terrifying._ "

Magnus’ jaw contracted as his eyes compassionately coaxed  
Alek's hazels into contact. 

"I'm sorry" Alek managed to say, "sorry, I just jumped from talking to you about your late husband and immortality to… talking about us and now it seems like I only have interest in courting you."

Magnus lifted a finger, allowing it to hover near Alek's lips, then lowered it once he stopped talking. 

Alek shut his eyes at the familiarity, hating it too much. 

He was starting to lose his mind. 

"Your magic is red" Magnus said, "can you tell me why that is?" 

Alek stilled for a few moments, lips parting. "You know the symbolism of the colour red, don't you?" He eventually asked, stealing a glance at Magnus. 

Magnus blinked, "as far as I know, red is often mentioned in the same breath as passionate love, anger, danger, longing, strength, leadership, and many more depending on culture. What do you associate yourself with?" Magnus tilted his head to the side as Alek offered a tight-lipped grimace. 

"Red is mostly set side by side with extremity. It be love, violence, or sense of leadership" Alek said slowly, anxiety settling over him as he spoke, "our people, and the shadowhunters, the vampires, the seelies, the werewolves, all of them, I've grown to care about them deeply, and once I start to care, I tend to give away too much of myself." 

"That's…" Magnus couldn't help but smile, "that's why you're a high warlock, Alek. You care about your people, as you're obliged to. Nothing to be ashamed of." 

Alek was looking between Magnus' eyes and lips as he spoke, gaze fraught with admiration. 

"Magnus" he exhaled, cutting whatever Magnus was saying off, unabashed by the fact he wasn't listening to a word he was saying "do you think it's possible that…" he stopped, shutting his eyes briefly, _that we may have met in some other life?_

Magnus felt his heart nearly thrash in his ribcage with hope, his very core burning to just rip the rest of the words out of Alek, who appeared to be in a state of confusion. 

"That what?" Magnus pushed, unable to keep his fear-laced excitement in.

Alek cleared his throat. "That you could portal me home" he said, and he couldn't miss the look of disappointment on Magnus' face even if he wanted to. 

Magnus then covered his sadness with a smile, standing up. "I'm not called the high warlock of Brooklyn for nothing" he boasted with a small smirk, "come on, it's getting late."


	3. Chapter 3

"Elyaas!" 

Elyaas glared at Magnus through close-set eyes. "What do you want this time, warlock?" He snapped rather crudely, making Magnus arch a brow.

"Excuse me, Eli, can I call you that?" Before Elyaas had the chance to start protesting, Magnus went on, "I'll just call you that. Unless you decide to put your manners on view." 

Elyaas let out a grumble, evidently caving in. "Fine, what do you desire, Mr. Bane?" sarcasm dripped from his lips as he spoke. 

Magnus chuckled lightly to himself, leaning back against the table with a drink in hand. "I was hoping we could slowly approach the subject, but since you're so eager to cut to the point forthrightly, we'll have to skip the friendly conversation prior my investigation" Magnus exaggeratedly let out a sigh, flipping onto the couch. "You're familiar with reincarnation."

"All demons are" came Elyaas' answer, "it's infrequent, but very much possible." 

Magnus smiled, looking down at his tequila. "You're also familiar with Alek Vargas." 

Elyaas stopped hovering for a moment, staring at Magnus' sudden change of attitude and tone with a — if his facial features were distinguishable — confused expression.

Then it clicked. And Elyaas' laugh left his triangular mouth with a tinge of mockery and… mirth. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood" the demon said, "Alec. Alek. I knew he reminded me of someone. And I knew you wouldn't let just anyone in so fast. You warlocks always have those rigidly constructed walls girthing your ageless hearts. Alek so easily… wrecked yours." 

Magnus said nothing, his jaw flexing as he distractedly stirred his drink with his pinky finger. 

"And you believe Mr. Vargas is the reincarnation of your late husband? Tsk tsk, all I see is a sad, lonely warlock lost in his own small world of illusions. Mundanes may be boring, warlock, but…" the demon shrugged what Magnus believed was his shoulder "I heard psychologists serve great purposes." 

Magnus glared up at Elyaas, teeth gritted and expression stony. 

Elyaas chuckled. "Ok fine, what do you wish to know?" 

"How do I make sure?" Magnus queried, "that they own the same soul?"

"You wait" Elyaas simply replied, the finality in his tone managing to burn something deep inside Magnus. 

"Wait?" Magnus quirked a brow, "for what? The sun to rise from the west?" His tone was mordantly humorous. 

"No" Elyaas sighed, "wait until he retrieves his memories."

**…**

_"No" Alec's hand rested on the man's, "no more magic, I'll make the coffee."_

_The man chuckled and sat up on the island, grabbing Alec by the bicep and pulling him between his legs to plant his lips on his. Alec groaned deep in his throat, lifting his hands to tangle his fingers in the man's dark hair._

_"Don't distract me" Alec mumbled, placing his hands on the man's thighs, "that way you won't get your coffee."_

_"Oh, I can think of many ways to get a fill"_

_"I can't believe you! How rude!" Alec laughed out, tucking his face into the crook of the man's neck._

_The man carded his fingers through Alec's hair, letting out the softest of sighs._

_"I want to stay like this forever" Alec eventually let out._

Alek hated that he could feel every emotion Alec was feeling in that flashback. It was one thing having visions that were too graphic and detailed to be unreal, and an absolute other thing seeing the memory dance right in front of your eyes while you were sober and wide awake. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Alek shook his head lightly to shake the memory off. His one wish was to see the man's face, and with every memory going by with his features obscured, Alek felt a tad more of his sanity fade away from him. He felt lost and weak and in need of being bolstered. It was one of the worst feelings he'd ever experienced. 

Blinking to pull himself out of his thoughts, he slowly stood to his feet and made his way to the door, where he let a client in.

**…**

"Good evening, Mr. Vargas" 

Alek stepped through the doorframe, bowing his head with a smile. "Good evening, I'm so glad you spared some time for this meeting."

"Ah, no worries. Any friend of Magnus Bane's is a friend of ours" the shadowhunter chuckled, "what I'm slightly confused about, however, is—" as soon as he looked up, eyes settling on Alek, a gasp escaped his throat. 

Alek cleared his own. "Sorry to have startled you" he apologised softly, "wasn't my intention." 

The man stood up from his seat and trod towards Alek with interested eyes and intrigued steps. "Oh, by the angel" the words flowed out in an exhale. "Oh, by the damned angel." 

Alek laughed at that, blinking twice in a row. "Thank you?" 

The man composed himself by clasping his hands behind his straightened back. "Sorry. What can I do for you Mr. Vargas?" He asked politely, and Alek licked at his lips, readying himself to be turned down.

"Who was the last to put up your wards?" He queried, trying to put on a confident tone and failing a little miserably. 

He was terrified to say the least. 

"Magnus Bane offered but after all the gratuitous services he has done for us, we thought maybe he'd think we're abusing his kindness" the shadowhunter — _Nicolás Lightwood_ — answered. 

Alek's heart stuttered in his chest at the way the man spoke of Magnus. 

"So the wards are a little weak." 

Alek gained a little more aplomb as he strutted into the room and reclined in the leather seat, crossing his legs poshly. "Would you like me to reinforce them?" His question held a tone that made it obvious he won't be doing it for free.

Alek was… very kindhearted, but sometimes he has to take extreme measures to get to what he wants. 

"And what would you possibly want in return? Scouts? Weaponry?" Nicolás leant back against his desk, brows furrowed.

"…Information" Alek simply responded, "about a certain shadowhunter from the twenty first century." 

Nicolás' brows rose in surprise. "Just information? The shadowhunter must be an important one." He chuckled softly. 

Alek joined in on the laugh for a second before taking a deep breath. "He's one of your ancestors. Alexander Gideon Lightwood?" 

At that, the shadowhunter paused, setting his eyes on Alek. "My great great grandfather Alec Lightwood?" A smile spread across his face, turning his countenance from one of sheer seriousness to glee and happiness. 

Apparently, Alec Lightwood was… exceptional.

"He's one of the most memorable hunters in the shadow world" Nicolás affirmed proudly, "not only did he effectuate peace between both our worlds and set an alliance between us and the downworld on foot, but also changed the clave's tradition, starting off by marrying a man, a man of your kind, and fighting Valentine Morgenstern and his son Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern with the help of the downworld—" he cut himself short, "excuse me, he's just one of the many men who have made us proud."

Alek's breath hitched in his throat. "Don't apologise. It's— It's more than ok…" he trailed off, "so, about the wards…?"

"Ah! Yes!"

**…**

By the time Alek had reinforced the wards, his guts were knotted and he could feel nervous butterflies swarming in his lower stomach. 

Nicolás Lightwood and Carla Herondale were more than pleased to sit him down and hand him a remote. 

Alek stared at it for a few seconds, knowing that every press of his thumb against the buttons on this inanimate object will only lead to more and more elicited memories, more kindled emotions. Emotions that varied between need and pain and utter fear.

He pressed down on one of the buttons. 

"By the angel, he looks just like you!" Carla exclaimed, "that's him and my great grandmother, Clarissa Fairchild. I heard from mom that they despised one another when they first met, then Alec was possessed by a demon and killed her mom, Jocelyn. Which lead to them putting their differences aside and just… being ok" Carla smiled as she spoke, tilting her head to the side and letting her long maroon hair slide down her arms in waves as she used her palm to prop herself up on the table.

Tightening his grip on the remote, Alek clenched his eyes shut.

_"You ok?"_

_Alec looked down at the ground, too afraid to look up. Afraid of the look the man will be giving him. Judgemental, disappointed, mad._

_"I can't be in that institute" he stated, holding back from letting his voice waver, from letting the pain seep into his words._

_"Oh, Alec" the man exhaled, sympathy woven in those two simple words._

_Alec looked up. "Heard you turned in Camille" he said, still refusing to look directly at the man, "how did that go?"_

_"Honestly?" The man asked, pausing for a few seconds to neutralise his tone._

_His voice still showed the pain when he let out an "it was awful. We had a lot of history, she and I…" another few seconds, "I'm sorry if that's weird."_

_"It's not weird" Alec looked at his hand, fingers sore and spread, "you say what you think."_

_"Too busy to use the healing rune?" The man abruptly changed the subject once he saw how red and pained Alec's hands were._

_Glancing away, remorseful and contrite, Alec licked at his lips. "I'm fine" he blinked fleetingly before his eyes were back on the ground, unable to meet the man's eyes._

_"No, you're not. You're hurting. Badly."_

Alek let out a slow, sorrowful breath, shutting his eyes to inhale and hold back the tears behind his eyelids. 

He shakily pressed on the button again. 

The next picture was Alec, sitting behind the desk of the head of the institute, a small, bland smile on his lips, and a golden band wrapped securely around his ring finger.

"As you can see, he's not very fond of pictures" Nicolás laughed, "but he got better." 

Alek began scrolling through the pictures, hastily and with intention. 

"Where are the pictures with his husband?" He finally questioned, slamming the remote onto the table almost angrily. 

"We don't have them, they're probably at his old home."

Alek was growing more and more frustrated by the second. He wanted to know who the goddamn man in his memories was. 

And judging by what Nicolás had told him, he was one of Alek's kind. A warlock. He could still be alive. Alek could go and question him. Figure out why he's getting all those emotion-ridden visions that left him drowning in a puddle of distress and _love._

"Let me rephrase" Alek lifted his hazels to look at the pair, " _who_ was his husband?" 

Carla's brows rose, and she glanced at Nicolás momentarily before looking back at Alek. "Magnus Bane" she stated, "we thought you knew." 

At that, Alek finally allowed a tear to slide down his face.

**…**

"Get home safely, dad" Max muttered through the phone, making Magnus chuckle.

"When am I not safe, blueberry? I've been alive for nearly six hundred years and no one has ever gone as far as picking a hair out of my scalp" he retorted, clearly boasting, "unless I want it of course." 

"Dad!" Max cried out, "too much information. Your sex life stays in your bedroom!" 

Magnus let out a hearty laugh as he climbed the steps to his loft. "Give Tessa and Catarina my regards. I'm going to enjoy a hot bath and reminisce about the times you were more interested in my life than yours" he teased, and he could almost hear the eye roll coming from the other end of the line.

"I love you, dad" 

At that, Magnus smiled and looked down at his shoes, "I love you too." 

He then hung up and hummed his way all the way to the loft. 

However, as soon as he got to the door of his loft, Alek was standing outside.

Magnus blinked, a smile managing to tug at the corner of his lips. "Ah! Alek! As much as I adore the idea of you being comfortable enough to visit bereft of invitation, I'd rather not see you shivering at my doorstep" he said kindly, using a mist of magic to easily unlock the door.

Alek stayed silent, and once Magnus stole a glance at him, he saw that Alek looked… angry, hurt, scared… _betrayed._

"Alek, what's wrong?" Worry was clear in Magnus' tone as he ducked his head to catch Alec's watery eyes. "Are you ok?" 

Alec looked up, and unlike his usual, kind gaze, he glared straight at the older warlock, narrowing his bloodshot hazels as his jaw clenched.

Magnus tilted his head. "Words, Alek" he reminded, refusing to let his weakness caused by those beautiful eyes get to him. 

By hearing those words, Alek's countenance turned gentle, as if his previous madness wasn't but a brief façade.

He opened his mouth, only to let a small croaking sound out. 

Magnus stepped closer, now even more worried about the little Italian.

Alek looked away, eyes squeezed shut, and without opening them, he, at full strain, managed to let himself speak.

"When were you planning on telling me that I'm a replica of your husband?"


	4. Chapter 4

Magnus' lips went dry and he felt the heat run through his body, blood thrumming hotly beneath his skin. "What?" 

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood" Alek responded, "your husband. When were you going to tell me?" 

Magnus flexed his jaw, swallowing down the pain that clotted at his jugular.

He glanced away briefly. "Here isn't the right place to talk about this" he eventually spoke, "come in."

Alek looked at him for a handful of moments, then slowly walked past him, eyes on the floor.

Magnus followed after, heart beating rapidly inside his chest. 

He shut the door quietly and turned around to slink after Alek, mind reeling to find the right thing to say. 

When Alek stood at the window, his back still to Magnus, Magnus felt desperation rise inside him, the need to justify himself, to assure Alek that it's not what he thinks.

"Alek—"

"I thought you were interested in me" Alek cut in, "because of me and not because I look like the love of your life."

"Alek, hear me out" Magnus decided to keep the distance between them.

And Alek decided not to turn around and look at him. Because Magnus made him weaker in a way, it was as if the older warlock could see right through him.

"Drop the glamour" he rasped.

Magnus blinked once, then twice. "What?" 

"The glamour" Alek closed his eyes, jaw clenching and unclenching in an attempt to gather his confidence, his leg began shaking in impatience. "When I first stepped through the door I felt the magic radiate from your walls. Lower the glamour." 

Magnus fell silent, eyes skimming the room slowly. 

He began to mull over the numerous possibilities to escape this situation. He could tell Alek to leave, that his personal life was none of his business. 

But it _was_. Alek was a part of his personal life. A reincarnation of the best part of his personal life. 

He could tell Alek to sit down, have a drink so they can talk this over. But Alek was desperate, he was hurting and he was confused. It would be unfair, but Magnus found himself asking regardless.

"Alek, sit down, let's—"

"No!" Alek interrupted, voice filled with indignation, "no" quietly, he turned around and looked straight at Magnus, "please. Drop the glamour."

So Magnus swiped his hand carefully, hanging his head instantly to hide his shame. 

The tendrils of blue magic escaped his fingertips in swirls, danced along the walls in spirals and conjured pictures in their wake.

At first, he heard nothing, only the low sound of Church purring in the far corner of the room. And for a moment, he thought Alek had gone.

Then Alek's breath glitched in his throat, letting a strangled breathy sound escape his lips.

"Lilith" he exhaled, moving slowly to take a better look at the new interior. 

Magnus forced himself to swallow, eyes shut and lips parted to make way for oxygen.

Alek stood in front of one of the photos, hand automatically lifting to run its fingers over the smooth glass overlaying the family picture.

In the picture, Alec was giving an exaggerated smile, his loose shirt sliding off his shoulder beneath his deflect rune as he leant back, holding himself up with his hands flat on the carpet, legs splayed in front of him.

Magnus was behind him, legs creating a cradle for his body and chin rested on his shoulder.

Max was curled up on Alec's lap, sleeping while Rafael was in the background, stele held against his arm with a grumpy expression.

Magnus looked at the way Alek was stroking his fingertips over the photo, his heart palpitating in his chest as he saw the longing in Alek's eyes.

"Maxi" Alek whispered, and that word alone was enough for Magnus to assure the fact Alek was Alec. In a way.

Alek slowly turned to Magnus. "Rafe" he said slowly, "where is he?" 

At that, Magnus turned away, fingers intertwining as he gathered up a way to tell Alek that Rafael was no longer with them.

Alek understood the silence. The harrowing silence that made his lip tremble before he began walking down the hallway, admiring each photo individually as if he was in some sort of photo gallery.

When he stopped at a photo, he stared at it for a few moments, then he turned to Magnus, eyes glazed over with tears. 

Magnus watched him, dumbfounded by the sudden change. 

"That beach…" Alek said, "that's the beach, that's—" he stopped to look back at the photo.

"Alec and I spent our honeymoon there" Magnus clarified, "he insisted, because…"

"Because you took me—" Alek interrupted himself with a clear of his throat "you took Alec there on your fifth date." 

Magnus blinked, surprised by the precision of the amount of dates they've been on before the beach. 

"Yeah" he exhaled. He had no idea when Alek had begun walking, but a few moments passed before the younger warlock was standing right in front of Magnus, eyes searing into the shimmering brown of his as if he was locating every golden fleck in them. "I'm confused" he said, "Magnus, I'm confused, there are things— things I _shouldn't_ know, intimate, personal things and I don't know what's happening to me. I know the location of every room in your home" he pointed down the hall, "bathroom" he pointed behind him "bedroom, en suite bathroom and two windows" then to the other side of the room, "the office you materialised for Alec, for his reports", his finger pointed at a closed door, "Max's room, he always kept the door closed because he said no one deserves to have their privacy invaded" Magnus was trying to speak, but Alek cut him short, "Rafael's room" he exhaled shakily, too scared to shut his eyes in case a tear escaped them, "you and Alec would wake up in the middle of the night because he had blown something up or set something on fire."

Magnus smiled at that, looking down at his fiddling hands. 

"Your side of the bed was the right, Alec's was the left, while you like your coffee milky, he liked it black, but occasionally drank from your mug, from the same spot you put your lips on because he honestly loved the taste of your gloss" Alek didn't miss the teardrop that fell down Magnus' face, barely marking his cheeks, it was quick and fleet and Alek wanted to wipe it away with his thumb but decided against it. "I shouldn't know these things, Magnus, and it _terrifies_ me."

Magnus parted his lips. "Alek—"

"These— these visions have been driving me mad, by Lilith I can't think straight, I can't— I need to remember" Alek clenched his eyes shut, in a way that he hoped would squeeze some memories to surface. 

Magnus lifted a hand, and as soon as his palm rested against Alek's cheek, Alek let out a breath, seemingly relaxing at the soft caress of Magnus' thumb against his light stubble. "It's been so long" he whispered, and Magnus nodded, briefly shutting his own eyes to hold back the rest of his tears craving release. 

Alek peeled his eyes open, and the way Magnus was looking at him— Gods, the way Magnus was looking at him.

_"Magnus" Alec's voice rang through Alek's head, "thank you, so much, for being here."_

_Magnus looked up at Alec, and it was the first time Alek had had the luxury of seeing him. He looked… he looked oddly younger. Alek knew that warlocks, like himself and Magnus, don't age, but something about Magnus radiated youth and liveliness. It was refreshing. "I'm glad Max is okay" he smiled, making Alec smile as well, hands clasped behind his back as he awaited Magnus' following sentence._

_However, when Magnus turned to leave, not wanting and being incapable of saying anything else, Alec's features ladened with need and…fear, and he found himself blurting out an "I'm sorry."_

_Magnus froze, his back still to Alec as his jaw flexed._

_"I should've told you about the soul sword" Alec continued, and when he saw Magnus slowly turn around to look at him, he went on "I made a mistake, but you and me.."_

_Magnus stepped closer, reluctant and almost terrified, weakened by Alec's sincerity, by Alec's love, by his own love, "we always seem to find our way back to each other" Alec's hands held Magnus', eyes scorching into his watery ones._

_Magnus looked up, expression softening as Alec, with wretched desperation, looked between Magnus' eyes and affirmed his love for the warlock. "Magnus, I ‘love’ you."_

_Magnus gave the tiniest of grimaces before lifting a hand and holding the side of Alec's face._

_Alec melted against the touch, eyes shutting as he leant further against Magnus' palm. "I love you too" Magnus spoke with just as much _sorrow,_ and although the words were supposed to reassure Alec, a woven promise in those four simple words, they didn't. _

_Alec opened his eyes to look between Magnus', hoping to find some sort of indication that Magnus wasn't leaving his side. Won't ever leave his side. Magnus smiled, brown eyes glazed over with tears, and that seemed to have blossomed some hope deep in Alec's chest._

_Then Magnus' hand was falling to his side. "But as a leader… there are difficult decisions I have to make to ensure the survival of my people" he watched as Alec began to slowly shift from side to side, not wanting to hear those words, not wanting the only man he wanted, loved, needed, to leave him, to cast him aside. "The only thing holding me back from doing that" Magnus paused, readying himself to say the following words, readying himself for the heartbreak at the words' tail. "Is you."_

_"No, no" Alec shook his head slowly, not knowing no to what._

_"I can't have both" Magnus shook his head._

_"Yes you can" Alec asserted croakily, "we can, we–" Magnus' jaw clenched. He knew this was going to be hard. He looked away, unable to look at Alec any longer. "Magnus, we can figure this out" Alec breathlessly said, somehow stepping closer._

_Magnus felt.. torn. "You once asked me what I was afraid of" he looked up at Alec through tearful eyes._

_"it's this."_

_Alec couldn't speak anymore, couldn't move, couldn't object, because he knew that whatever he said, no matter how much he tried to convince Magnus, it'll all be in vain._

_Magnus walked away, and Alec watched him leave, rooted in place._

Ripped out of the memory, Alek blinked his tears away and looked at Magnus, who gave the gentlest of smiles. "Let me show you."

Alek nodded, and the warmth of Magnus' hand against his cheek began seeping into his skin, bringing every cell in his body to life. It was ethereal, heavenly, nothing could describe what it felt like to be so _complete._

Memories flooded Alek's mind, in the vicinity of overwhelming but not quite. It was like a slideshow, a typhoon of emotions varying between pain, fear, love and utter need. Maybe need wasn't an emotion, just a deep, delirious desire to be with someone. Desire _was_ an emotion, a terrifyingly thrilling one that Alek had never, in his century of existence experienced. And now that he had a sip of it, he didn't think he could live without it, he didn't know how he could live without it for so long. It was intoxicating, wild, and addictive. 

_"I'm Magnus. I don't think we've been formally introduced. "  
"Alec."_

_"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Alec."_  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
"You will." 

_"For almost a century, I've closed myself off to feeling anything for anyone, man or woman… you've unlocked something in me."_

_"It's rare to find a shadowhunter with such a… open heart."  
"I trust you.. I don't know why, but I do."_

_"You'll be lonely all your life, and so will she, neither of you deserve it… and I don't either."_

_"What about love? Even shadowhunters fall in love, Alec."_

_"Emotions are never in black and white."_

_"You lose your breath every time they enter a room"  
"I can't breathe"_

_"Your heart beats faster when they walk by.."  
"Your skin tingles when they stand close enough to feel their breath"_

_"Alec, what are you doing—"  
"Enough!"_

_"You never cease to amaze me, Alec."_

_"I'm the same person I've always been, now everything's just out in the open."_

_"When things get crazy, don't push me away."  
"Remember when you said 'when things get crazy, don't push me away.'?"_

_"You wanna know why I haven't been in a relationship? Because of this, because I didn't wanna feel like there's something wrong with me because I grew up in the institute, because..I always knew I couldn't have what I wanted.. Until you came along."  
"That's why I haven't opened my heart up for almost a hundred years, then I met you."_

_"Relationships take effort."  
"I'm all for effort."_

_"How many downworlders do you think live in New York?"_  
"I don't know, but they're not all your responsibility."  
"You are." 

_"Magic can't create fears, only bring them out."  
"Magnus, on every mission I've ever been on, I've never felt that type of fear, ever. Not knowing if you were alive or dead.. I was terrified."_

_"Magnus, I love you."  
"I love you too."_

_"It's supposed to bring you luck, annnd protection."_  
"Thank you, Alexander."  
"You gave me that omamori charm that I carried with me every day." 

_"I've been worried sick, with all these attacks you shouldn't be out on your own."  
"Well, I'm not on my own, I'm here with you, high warlock of Brooklyn."_

_"You never have to prove yourself to me. I love you."  
"I love you too."_

_"I never wanted you to see this terrible, ugly side of me"  
"There is nothing ugly about you."_

_"Sometimes, I lose control."  
"Magnus.. They're beautiful. You're beautiful."_

_"Magnus, Magnus."  
"You can't get rid of me that easily."_

_"I don't think I can live without you."_  
_"I can't do anything without thinking of you."  
"I thought I had to choose between you and the downworld, I don't."_

"Stop!" Alek pushed back, making Magnus drop his hand to his side, "stop, it's— it's too much, it's too much" he lifted his hand to scratch his stubble out of frustration, then run his fingers through his hair, releasing a shaky breath, "too much." 

The memories had coalesced into one connected entirety, and for once in years, Alek felt whole, like he just put the last puzzle piece in place, like he just inhaled a deep, satisfying breath after rising to surface from a strenuous swim. It was perfect.

Magnus rubbed the tip of his index finger over the pad of his thumb anxiously, hope he didn't take it too far.

Alek fell silent, staring blankly at the space over Magnus' shoulder before shifting his gaze back to Magnus. "You're nearly six hundred years old" he said, tone on the verge of being drily and bitter, "you know exactly what's happening to me. And I need you to tell me if this—" he gestured around him, "if _I_ have anything to do with Alec."

Magnus let the words dawn on him like a bucket of freezing water. Alek didn't know.

"Alek" Magnus stepped closer. Alek didn't move. "Before I met Alec, I was safely closed off for almost one hundred years, and when he…" Magnus couldn't finish off, hoping that Alek would understand the silence. 

Alek nodded.

"I barricaded my heart again, because losing the people I love has always been the chink in my armour, and after I lost Alec, I didn't think I could stand another heartbreak" Magnus was looking at anything but Alek, his voice small and unlike anything the high warlock of Brooklyn should sound like.

It stirred emotions in Alek, knowing that he was capable of bringing Magnus' wards down, capable of seeing past the breezy and stolid charade.

"I thought I'd never love again, and to be fairly honest, I never did, and I never will, not the way I loved him…" Magnus paused, lifting his rheumy gaze to look straight into Alec's hazel one, "not the way I loved _you._ "

Reality struck Alek full force, and he found the weight of it nearly bringing him down to the couch as his mind tried to register all the information. His knees buckled, but he refused to sit. 

"You were right, Alek" Magnus spoke up, and Alek looked up at him, a tear rolling down his cheek, followed by more, commixing into shallow, unceasing streams, "we always seem to find our way back to each other." 

That elicited a small cry from Alek's throat, and the next second, he was throwing himself into Magnus' arms almost desperately, clinging to the back of his shirt like Magnus was going to evanesce any moment. 

Magnus slid his eyes shut, both arms encircling Alek's waist, delighting in the familiar feeling of the strong grip and the smell of cologne. 

"I always knew you were a cologne type of man" he breathed out. He knew that the reference was meant to enquire whether Alec was into men or women, but he couldn't let the opportunity slip. Alek only held on tighter, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry" after minutes of just familiarising with Magnus' warmth following the decades of missing it, apologised, "I'm sorry" he repeated, "I'm sorry I made you live without me for so long." 

Magnus began to rebut, wanting to assure Alek that his life wasn't in his hands, that immortality wasn't in his grasp at the time. That he had people who loved him, people he loved back and would be forced to watch them die.

"I'm not going anywhere this time" and Alek squeezed, tilting his head to inhale Magnus' scent. 

Magnus shivered at the touch, running one hand up Alek's back and through his hair while the other remained around his waist. 

"That beach" Alek whispered, still unable to pull back, "I'm always overcome with drastic nostalgia when I look at it." 

Magnus leisurely pulled back, ignoring the sudden need to be back in Alek's arms.  
The itch was too much, so he placed his hands on Alek's elbows. 

Alek noticed this instantly, and the next moment, Magnus was back in his arms, face buried in his neck, hands nearly tearing at his shirt in fear of losing him. _Again._

Breath hitched and eyes closed, Alek brushed light kisses against Magnus' temple. "Take me to that beach" he whispered, barely above a whisper. 

And Magnus did just that. 

While Magnus was silent the whole time, trying to making himself cognisant with, well, everything, Alek was the complete opposite. 

It was nighttime, and Alek was looking up, arms wrapped around his legs, his wistful countenance giving everything away. 

He was remembering, a small smile on his face. 

Magnus was watching him, eyes laden with complete adoration as Alek's smile varied between tenuous and gigantic before he turned to look at him, eyes brown now that there was no light to give them the green shimmer he usually had. 

"Remember the necklace I gave you here?" He asked, "you told me you wanted a star. I was so…"

"Dorky?" Magnus offered. 

Alek drew his brows together. "I was going to go for romantic" he asserted, ducking his head shyly. 

Magnus laughed and extended his hand to ruffle Alek's hair. 

They fell silent for another few minutes, Magnus looking at the sea, Alek looking at Magnus, memories in sync. 

_"You need to relax, Magnus" Alec said, "I'm not going to let you go" his hands were beneath Magnus' body, holding him up._

_Magnus squeezed an the shut. "Alexander, shut up! Easier said than done! I haven't swum in nearly three hundred and fifty years! And last time wasn't a very pleasant experience!"_

_Alec laughed out loud, his hands now curling around Magnus' body as he lifted him bridal style. "Ok, today's lesson is over" he affirmed, "let's just make sandcastles or something."_

_"Or something? Love? Can we make that?" Magnus teased, wrapping his arms around Alec's neck._

_Alec rolled his eyes. "Shameless" he mumbled._

_Magnus smiled. "I love you."_

_"I love you too"_

_"So, can we make that thing I just suggested? It ‘is’ our honeymoon after all" Magnus wiggled his brows, and Alec stopped to set him down and just cradle his face, kissing him full on the mouth._

Alek sidled closer to Magnus until their shoulders were brushing. "Magnus" 

"Yes, darling?"

"How come I only remember you from my past life?" Alek swallowed, "was I alone?" 

"No" Magnus reached for Alek's hand, "everyone loved you, Alek. You had—"

"Don't" Alek interrupted, chest tightening at the thought of family, "don't tell me. It's fine, I have you now. And Maxi. That's all that matters."

Their fingers interlaced, tan and porcelain wreathing warmly as Alek tilted his head onto Magnus' shoulder. "I love you, Magnus." 

Magnus smiled, squeezing lightly on Alek's hand as he rested his cheek against Alek's hair. "I love you too, Alek. I never stopped." 

"I don't think I did either."


End file.
